Monday, January 26, 2009

3 Days....

3 Days until my last chemo...wow. I'd like to say that time has flown by, but it hasn't. Mind you, I can't imagine what it would have been like without Isabella.

Today I had nausea on and off and a headache all day - man that sucks.

I'm having mixed emotions about being done chemo. I want to make sure it has worked and I wonder if I (we) have done enough - enough drugs, enough nutrition, enough exercise, enough positive attitude? It bothers me that I'll never really know it is gone - only if it comes back will I truly know. That is such a weird feeling - and I'm still working on figuring out how to deal with it.

Unfortunately there was another mix up with the shirts...I have a majority of them, but there are still some missing...I'll drop off or mail the ones I have tomorrow. Sorry for the delay people!

If you have shirts...you owe me a picture by Wednesday!

Ciao.

2 comments:

KJR said...

Hey Jeff!

I totally understand your feelings on "have you done enough treatment?". I guess this is where you put your trust in Hammy. She has been "right on" so far, and she still is. You will feel better once you see her tomorrow and get all of your questions answered.

Please remember all the good things about your diagnosis, like stage 2, caught early, etc etc. These things will help you get through the next few years when you have your doubts. That is what I do when I start having those negative feelings. I remember all the "good news".

I just got back from MedCan and I am in great shape and all blood and ultra sound test were great! Each time I go there I hate it, but I am always relieved when they tell me I am healthy. The Dr. tells me I have to put this behind me. Easy to say, hard to do.

But I think you will be better at this than I am. You reach out for help and get answers. You are not afraid to ask.

Once the treatment is behind you and you start living again, the fear of recurrance will certainly haunt you, but that is OK. It gets better and better with each day, month and year that passes.

You will have (and already do) an new lease on life, it's significance and you know what is important and what is not. That is a gift. Yes it comes at a high price, but still it is a gift that will help you enjoy life to it's fullest for the rest of your long healthy life.

There are so many tragedies of people who are taken from us way too soon, due to various types of accidents. So no, there are no guarantees, no matter what your situation is.

So you have to enjoy each day (or at least most of the days).

Any you will!

Love Kym

Anonymous said...

Ditto to the above sentiments from Kym!

I am truly super-excited that you are almost done - good on you Jeff! I have had Thursday circled on my calendar with a big smiley face. Just wait until 3 weeks from now when you were supposed to have #7 and YOU DON'T HAVE TO BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL DONE! Best feeling ever! Dr Hamm knows you and knows the cancer and she will guide you through.

Now get your game face on cuz you're about to make cancer your bitch!!

Three cheers for you! (but not til Thursday)

Dana :)