Sunday, December 7, 2008

Sunday Sunday Sunday

I sure hope that today is the last day of symptoms for this crap.
I had some nausea and headache symptoms on Thursday and then nothing Friday...so I thought that I was golden! The past two chemo sessions caused symptoms for 10 days ... and I was hoping that these new drugs were the answer. But no. I was hit with a bit of nausea Saturday and then kicked in the face with it today. CRAP!!! The nausea today was to the point that I was bent over the toilet gagging. Today better be the last day. I can't portray enough how frustrated I am. I think I would be fine if I was able to go out and be social while feeling crappy...I can handle that. But, I have to sit at home relaxing - soooo annoying. $%^&$##%%$
This session has been the most frustrating. The emotional ups and downs really took their toll on me and my family. Coming down off the steroids seems to have really kicked me in the ass. It made me feel grumpy, angry, sad, depressed - some for short periods of time or all day. So frustrating. Especially yesterday and today when I thought everything was finally OK.
OK enough complaining....

Last week also had a highlight...the pictures from the Cancer Survivor Park. Freaking amazing. If you missed it, go check it here ( CLICK THIS LINK ). I can't fully explain what these pictures mean to me (even though I have not been there) - but man it affected me. And you can see from the comments on that blog post that it affected others as well. There were confirmations and reminders that are extremely important. But I think that you have to experience cancer survivorship to fully understand all of it. I don't fully get it all...but I will be a bit more prepared for it. More specifically, the fact that for the rest of my life I may be doubting my body and worried that every cough or ailment is the cancer coming back...Ug. I have to prepare for this.

So tomorrow I'll go for my blood work. Dr. Hamm told me that I don't have to go as often as before...but I want to go to ensure that my counts are up and so that I can compare to last session (last session I took 10 neupogen shots and this session was only 5, one every other day - finished yesterday).
On Tuesday, I'm meeting with the people at the cancer center regarding the resource / computer rooms. I am excited for this and looking forward to helping them as much as I can.

Finally, here are some pictures from the past couple days...enjoy:

This has become her favorite toy ... even though she probably doesn't know what a toy is. But she is playing with the best she can. As far as I can see she has excellent hand eye coordination and will likely be an excellent hand baller, in her spare time.

We attempted to put her in her new snow suit (thanks Dante), but it might be a bit early...
I definitely missed this a lot this week. With chemo I can't hold onto her for 2 days and then with the cold, I tried to avoid holding on to her. We didn't want to start a vicious cycle of colds in the house...ug.
Wow...she won't have me wrapped around her finger for the rest of her life. OK...so she already does!
Cutie Patootie.

The first time she discovered this bear with wings (we can't figure out what it is...except that it looks like a bear with wings) she stared at it for at least 20min. It was hilarious.


She loves the Bumble Bear.

Thanks for Reading!

Ciao

1 comment:

KJR said...

Oh My God she is beautiful. I know I keep saying that, but oh my God she is so beautiful!!!!!

I am so sorry about the emotional times. I am sure they are harder to cope with then the physical ones. It is still so unreal to me that you are going through this. I am so sorry. You are and will always be our little Freffry and we love you so much.

You are nearing the half way point. At least time is ticking away, although slowly at times.

Take advantage of the good days during your treatment. And remember.......... big and expensive!


Love Kym